Jokes about dating high maintenance women

11-Apr-2020 20:03

And if you can't see her then you'll certainly be able to hear her. She's the one who rushes out of the wedding service clasping her mobile to her ear, aghast at the news that her hairdresser's appointment has been postponed. She's the one who always makes a drama out of a crisis. The one who always looks like she might be up for a bit of how's-your-father but who is usually too busy complaining to actually do anything about it. Well, my friend, she is your high-maintenance girlfriend.

She'll be the one shrieking her head off about something so inconsequential it wouldn't have appeared on most people's radar: "Do I look like I drink full-fat milk? It is a fact that all men will have dated at least half a dozen high-maintenance girls before finally alighting on someone who actually gives the impression that they may have been born on Planet Earth.

And in a way it's a bizarre sort of rite of passage, one even the sanest of us seemingly can't avoid.

And like any love-wars foot-soldier, I have done my time in the trenches.

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"Well, until you called I was very much asleep, actually."Another – who used to enjoy greeting the day, and her office, dressed as a dominatrix – would deliberately pick fights with builders just so I then had to intervene on her behalf (even though I looked like the six-stone weakling's scrawnier younger brother).Ally is a preppy tomboy who loves all things football and fashion.She's a housewife in training and is known as the highly opinionated, and sometimes rude, first woman of Elite Daily. Ally is a preppy tomboy who loves all things football and fashion.Yet another once cut up all my clothes – and yes, I do mean all of them – after we'd had what turned out to be our penultimate fight. I've been there, bought the T-shirt, and had the tattoo.A few weeks later, when we met to exchange each other's house keys, she chased me through the underpass at Shepherd's Bush roundabout with a bottle of Quink. I once briefly went out with an heiress who didn't understand why I sometimes wanted to go to a cheap neighbourhood restaurant rather than the bold-type West End places she was used to (and it was her neighbourhood! She even laughed at my car which, as we all know, is largely the same as laughing at our genitals.

"Well, until you called I was very much asleep, actually."Another – who used to enjoy greeting the day, and her office, dressed as a dominatrix – would deliberately pick fights with builders just so I then had to intervene on her behalf (even though I looked like the six-stone weakling's scrawnier younger brother).

Ally is a preppy tomboy who loves all things football and fashion.

She's a housewife in training and is known as the highly opinionated, and sometimes rude, first woman of Elite Daily. Ally is a preppy tomboy who loves all things football and fashion.

Yet another once cut up all my clothes – and yes, I do mean all of them – after we'd had what turned out to be our penultimate fight. I've been there, bought the T-shirt, and had the tattoo.

A few weeks later, when we met to exchange each other's house keys, she chased me through the underpass at Shepherd's Bush roundabout with a bottle of Quink. I once briefly went out with an heiress who didn't understand why I sometimes wanted to go to a cheap neighbourhood restaurant rather than the bold-type West End places she was used to (and it was her neighbourhood! She even laughed at my car which, as we all know, is largely the same as laughing at our genitals.

She'll be the one who throws her head back and laughs as though you've just told her the funniest joke in the world when all you've done is tell her that the easiest way to get to Suffolk from London is not, as most people assume, the M11, but the A1 followed by the A505 through Baldock and Royston (making use of the new bypass). "She's the one who rushes out of her own wedding service for the same reason.